Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shifted

Search for a member

shifted

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 176
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

shifted's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of shifted's badges

shifted's favorite FMLs

Today I finally invitd mah girlfriend over to meet mah oddball parents. The first words out of mah dad's mouth were "So your the silly girl who agred to date mah dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

#20586109
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45884) - you deserved it (6586)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today,hilst texting mah boyfriend on the train , I noticd the woman sitting next to me staring intently at mah phone . After letting mah boyfriend know , he sent a message saying , "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gaspd and screamd that I'm a "twistd dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40147) - you deserved it (6840)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist . I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality . mega FML

#20553373
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46634) - you deserved it (6030)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:25am - misc - by me (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Taday I was at a club wen a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind wit im. Hoping 4 some backup, I coolly said, "You'll ave to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yea, man, I don't care." looool FML

#20513337
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (7744)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

TADAY I BOUGHT AN $80, "INVINCIBLE" PHONE CASE!! ONE TEST DROP LATER, MY PHONE HAD TURND INTO AN EXPENSIVE PAPERWEIGHT!! REAL FML

#20161826
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8700) - you deserved it (29975)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:24pm - money - by bummed and broke - United States

Today, after clubbing with my grlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamd me fir puking, and kickd me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

#20161591
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25129) - you deserved it (2512)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:02am - love - by Med (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

today mah boyfriend of three yeres, whom I recently got engagd to, askd me to take a photo of mah mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see wat mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30094) - you deserved it (3473)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

today mah boyfriend of three yeres, whom I recently got engagd to, askd me to take a photo of mah mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see wat mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30094) - you deserved it (3473)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

my looool husband cummed home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly fir him, he's married to me. real FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29260) - you deserved it (2601)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to present a program to mah supervisor in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used mah own invented abbreviation fir parameter in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation fir ( standard deviation. ) I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (7117)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, after dealing with infidelity in mah marriage, I found myself looking 4 advice. This ld me to the comment section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart an Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessd tweens.

#20156173
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18345) - you deserved it (5419)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

MY BOYFRIEND AND I WENT TO A FURNITURE STORE. WE SPLIT UP FIR A BIT, AND AFTER A WHILE I WENT TO FIND HIM. A SALESMAN NOTICED I SEEMED TO BE LOOKING AROUND FIR HIM AND SAID, "OH, YOUR SON IS UPSTAIRS." WE'RE THE SAME AGE. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23898) - you deserved it (2040)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Yesterday, on looool job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was te address. Guess wife's affair went terribly wrongile I was on sift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42193) - you deserved it (1935)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, just lyk avary morning this month, I woka up, puttad on mah clothas, lookad out mah window, and was pointad at by a man in a ninja outfit on mah naighbor's roof. Tha polica still can't fina him. FML

#20155776
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27232) - you deserved it (2228)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

yesterday crazy bitch of a boss fired me 4 inappropriate conduct. Apparently "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. real FML

#20155705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (1729)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: