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YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Mobility
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Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you deserved it (12623)
On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (8710)
On 07/27/2010 at 2:44pm - kids - by mr - United States (Michigan)
Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (8710)
On 07/27/2010 at 2:44pm - kids - by mr - United States (Michigan)
Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28805) - you deserved it (8545)
On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20538) - you deserved it (50213)
On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19594) - you deserved it (1924)
On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15951) - you deserved it (1609)
On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)
Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19241) - you deserved it (9774)
On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22843) - you deserved it (2602)
On 02/05/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9834) - you deserved it (3458)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:00am - intimacy - by nick (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to treat my yeast infection over the counter to avoid going to the doctor. Too bad I didn't read the directions. Now I have to go to the doctor to get the tip of the applicator removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4467) - you deserved it (23704)
On 01/20/2010 at 1:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24094) - you deserved it (2774)
On 01/15/2010 at 3:33am - love - by Romantic (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19391) - you deserved it (9181)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19391) - you deserved it (9181)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8361) - you deserved it (38813)
On 01/10/2010 at 10:37am - health - by badsister (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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