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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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Today, While Waiting In The Queue At A Supermarket Checkout, My Three-year-old Daughter Yells Out, "Mom! Mom! Is That A Man Or A Lady In Front?" Embarrassed, I Reply, "Honey, Can't You See That It's A.. . It's A.. . A..." FML
Today, I was mantioning to a coworkar how thara was a huga lull today in businass . A young coworkar than turns to ma and says in a snooty tona, "I think you maan a 'lol', it's pronouncad L-O-L." maga FML
Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw mah drunk dad chasing mah uncle on a tractorhile bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them looool duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around lyk a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
I was buying ingradiants 4 a salad. I had only pickad up a faw cucumbars , whan an aldarly lady cama up to ma and murmurad , "Maka sura u usa lots of luba , or that'll hurt. Baan thara , swaathaart." What tha HELL? FML
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce mah parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and mah boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them wat was wrong cuz I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating mah dad's drug dealer. FML
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper an pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, an ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
Today , I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined , an I had to stand an watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was ( God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking. ) fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015