shazzahllala

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shazzahllala

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4749
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About shazzahllala : http://twitter.com/Shazzahllala

shazzahllala's page activity

Visits<b>aegan6969</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 12:14pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:18am<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 11:29am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:59pm<b>venomousflower</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 5:56pm<b>ThisIsMyUsernam</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:17am<b>captain_mal</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:48am<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 3:35pm<b>Radioactive_Kiwi</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:01am<b>strawnelson</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 9:48am<b>Dugas72</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 5:53pm<b>sspence</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:13pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:39pm<b>VodkaOfBears</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 8:43pm<b>typical_girl_</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 10:26am<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 3:01am<b>RutnaPapagia</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 2:48pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:30pm

shazzahllala's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shazzahllala's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild" FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 8:02am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

by just_a_bit_akwRd / 08/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

by BeboKhaos / 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

by amburrr / 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

by thefailure / 08/02/2009 at 12:21am / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

by arsenic660 / 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

by fedexed / 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

by helpfulmom / 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

by tony / 07/24/2009 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Kids