About shazzahllala : http://twitter.com/Shazzahllala
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52614) - you deserved it (5720)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6134) - you deserved it (47189)
On 08/13/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by oldtexas (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83046) - you deserved it (3339)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I started a new job as a maid. As I was cleaning the master bedroom's en-suite bathroom, the owners of the house came in and started making love. I was too scared to admit I was there, but after there was silence for a few minutes I thought it might be safe to leave. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43839) - you deserved it (5449)
On 08/12/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by maidmyday (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55681) - you deserved it (3247)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (5718)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, the car I was in got pulled over by the police for making an illegal turn. I was in a cab. And he kept the meter running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39206) - you deserved it (1843)
On 08/07/2009 at 2:29pm - misc - by LT (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43487) - you deserved it (5206)
On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49622) - you deserved it (5617)
On 08/07/2009 at 11:23am - money - by goin4broke (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (46649)
On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51759) - you deserved it (1856)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42461) - you deserved it (3298)
On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43297) - you deserved it (14848)
On 08/06/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was puked on for the third time in three years at our annual choir concert. What makes it so significant? The fact that the same guy pukes on me every year from stage fright. We're arranged alphabetically, and he's always in the row RIGHT above me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46421) - you deserved it (3727)
On 08/05/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39796) - you deserved it (4968)
On 08/04/2009 at 4:21pm - love - by Angry (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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