Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

shazzahllala

Search for a member

shazzahllala
  • Town/Country : Burnaby, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3469
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About shazzahllala : http://twitter.com/Shazzahllala

shazzahllala's last visitors

AXel2169EzelliannaHeadcrabblaackandprouudstaaaceyMandyCat484Corvo_Attanoireply_wlyricsmariepastyglueThe_Mr_Troll

shazzahllala's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

shazzahllala's favorite FMLs

Today, I was following my dad while texting, not really watching where we're going. Suddenly, he ran ahead and I looked up to see what he was doing. We were in the men's bathroom. There were 3 guys at the urinals. I'm a 15 year old girl. FML

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13832) - you deserved it (62264)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

#5013667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16342) - you deserved it (33273)

On 09/03/2009 at 1:05am - work - by yogabbagabba (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

#4956234
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31463) - you deserved it (8109)

On 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

#4926734
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (51693)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

#4923649
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14079) - you deserved it (53015)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

#4921457
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29375) - you deserved it (1891)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Embarassed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

#4909892
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33832) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3AM. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

#4889725
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (11305)

On 08/28/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by chasingcars0624 - United States

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60648) - you deserved it (15379)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

#4865635
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5716) - you deserved it (45821)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48336) - you deserved it (2963)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML

#4787214
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46024) - you deserved it (3767)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

#4774624
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41519) - you deserved it (4538)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18920) - you deserved it (35604)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: