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shawnygreen

Offline (yesterday at 9:28pm) | Search for a member

shawnygreen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 428
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About shawnygreen : arguably the perfect human.

shawnygreen's page activity

Visits<b>Livin_Like_Larry</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:55pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:31am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:40pm<b>potatoe_barf</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 3:26pm<b>love_struck97</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 2:02pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 8:33am<b>BasedComment</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 1:20am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:45pm<b>Cryptical</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:05am<b>iYamEmoRay</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:10pm<b>jhill5472</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:25pm<b>ProphetXofXDodo</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:07pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:27pm<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:11am<b>berryjones11024</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:11am<b>spatula232</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:02am<b>Doutze</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:37am

shawnygreen's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of shawnygreen's badges

shawnygreen's favorite FMLs

Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML

#20974953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25681) - you deserved it (38353)

On 11/29/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by holy sleet (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47200) - you deserved it (6139)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49631) - you deserved it (5762)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62380) - you deserved it (12019)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

#20615694
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72643) - you deserved it (9591)

On 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Soundofaboner - United States

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35794) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (449051) - you deserved it (64462)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
940 comments

I agree, your life sucks (372822) - you deserved it (42420)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (429404) - you deserved it (67840)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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