shawnygreen

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Offline (the 08/26/2015 at 7:41pm)

shawnygreen

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 586
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About shawnygreen : arguably the perfect human.

shawnygreen's page activity

Visits<b>billboob</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Livin_Like_Larry</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 11:55pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:31am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 5:40pm<b>potatoe_barf</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 3:26pm<b>love_struck97</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 2:02pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 8:33am<b>BasedComment</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 1:20am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:45pm<b>Cryptical</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:05am<b>iYamEmoRay</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 6:10pm<b>jhill5472</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:25pm<b>ProphetXofXDodo</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:07pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Tika876</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:27pm<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:11am<b>berryjones11024</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 7:11am<b>spatula232</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:02am

shawnygreen's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of shawnygreen's badges

shawnygreen's favorite FMLs

Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML

by holy sleet / 11/29/2013 at 4:49pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

by failure as a parent / 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

by Sirah90 / 05/07/2013 at 3:29am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

by Soundofaboner / 04/23/2013 at 12:08pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

by apparentlytoougly / 03/27/2013 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love