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About shaunthegamer : that is a pic of my ex gf who got married to some guy she met on the internet 2 weeks after i broke up with her...
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25324) - you deserved it (61417)
On 05/05/2009 at 3:43am - love - by sunboy52 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51079) - you deserved it (2096)
On 05/04/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66844) - you deserved it (180374)
On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (175297) - you deserved it (9035)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML
I agree, your life sucks (17859) - you deserved it (62077)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60535) - you deserved it (13794)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Lootz (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my parents met my girlfriend for the first time and cooked us dinner. After, I was helping clean up in the kitchen and my dad says to me, "Don't worry, you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess." and winks at me. She heard. I was going to propose to her tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48331) - you deserved it (2221)
On 05/03/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50368) - you deserved it (2606)
On 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by fuckerman - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66792) - you deserved it (4229)
On 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76292) - you deserved it (9928)
On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83690) - you deserved it (11757)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (148062) - you deserved it (6076)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86412) - you deserved it (5707)
On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56547) - you deserved it (5209)
On 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78522) - you deserved it (3341)
On 04/26/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by hopeless1 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
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