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sharkshaveteeth

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sharkshaveteeth
  • Town/Country : Saint Paul, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 April 1981 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 5431
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About sharkshaveteeth : I am into sharks and marine life, scuba diving and snorkeling, photography, cooking, music, and European Cars.

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sharkshaveteeth's favorite FMLs

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

#8805170 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (4514) - you deserved it (16080)

On 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm - misc - by DUMMIE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

#8772843 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (2597)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:21pm - kids - by kansasgirl (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (4713) - you deserved it (36913)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (6426) - you deserved it (19068)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (22862) - you deserved it (1489)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

#6508757 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (17680) - you deserved it (9245)

On 11/29/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by Nomoresandwish (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

#6508177 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (6824)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by ? - United States

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

#6493322 (368)

I agree, your life sucks (26502) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

#6431680 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (5452) - you deserved it (15205)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

#6344201 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (8155) - you deserved it (21872)

On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (22272) - you deserved it (2465)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

#6309231 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (17636) - you deserved it (3720)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by John (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (4490) - you deserved it (47675)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML

#6284625 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (1866)

On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

#6281731 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (23114) - you deserved it (6224)

On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)