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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3947) - you deserved it (18248)
On 11/04/2009 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Metime (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43035) - you deserved it (3605)
On 10/03/2009 at 7:43am - love - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (14984)
On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33917) - you deserved it (2178)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83531) - you deserved it (3341)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (67231) - you deserved it (5843)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42519) - you deserved it (3304)
On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59007) - you deserved it (159661)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6236) - you deserved it (87699)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47618) - you deserved it (14261)
On 05/01/2009 at 10:28am - intimacy - by badluckdrew (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13694) - you deserved it (109721)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (203511) - you deserved it (59407)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22410) - you deserved it (111177)
On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8834) - you deserved it (61121)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56820) - you deserved it (7214)
On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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