This member hasn't filled in the description.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11923) - you deserved it (35826)
On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10896) - you deserved it (19673)
On 08/30/2011 at 1:20am - intimacy - by WithoutLove (man) - United States
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27042) - you deserved it (3320)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39618) - you deserved it (3639)
On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40851) - you deserved it (4216)
On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91023) - you deserved it (6397)
On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (5359)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38723) - you deserved it (10385)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20247) - you deserved it (4698)
On 11/01/2010 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28500) - you deserved it (33920)
On 09/17/2010 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while driving through town, I was distracted by a pretty girl walking on the nearby pavement and accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. Not only did the pretty girl witness the crash and give a statement, it turned out she was a very feminine man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10065) - you deserved it (32875)
On 07/20/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (7654)
On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39615) - you deserved it (3051)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41885) - you deserved it (3028)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37800) - you deserved it (6085)
On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
