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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38774) - you deserved it (16913)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26654) - you deserved it (7410)
On 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by marriage/celibacy/synonymity (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26786) - you deserved it (5001)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14670) - you deserved it (970)
On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -
Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19136) - you deserved it (3858)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:06am - intimacy - by fuzz94 (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (3206)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13603) - you deserved it (32017)
On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19485) - you deserved it (2465)
On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21397) - you deserved it (3665)
On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)
Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4316) - you deserved it (30566)
On 08/08/2012 at 10:00am - misc - by FutureMarine3658 - United States (Utah)
Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23325) - you deserved it (1708)
On 06/28/2012 at 11:28am - love - by FMlovelife (woman) - United States
Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (2631)
On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20216) - you deserved it (3066)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16307) - you deserved it (1979)
On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you deserved it (10376)
On 06/19/2012 at 11:35am - intimacy - by megasniper240 (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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