About shanee108 : Sensitive and happy. :o :)
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Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26558) - you deserved it (5328)
On 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm - misc - by Pookaa (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30117) - you deserved it (1486)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13765) - you deserved it (162872)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41337) - you deserved it (5083)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41337) - you deserved it (5083)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11261) - you deserved it (22991)
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (1924)
On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11356) - you deserved it (32823)
On 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40218) - you deserved it (2054)
On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42873) - you deserved it (6323)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62527) - you deserved it (4542)
On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38933) - you deserved it (6656)
On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (2209)
On 02/05/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by stinkerweeder (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21378) - you deserved it (4093)
On 01/26/2011 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by PLU (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (5072) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Monday 20 May 2013
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