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shamille

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shamille
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 29250
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shamille : wooooo!

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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shamille's favorite FMLs

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13755) - you deserved it (39821)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

#16990029
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29121) - you deserved it (5081)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my grandma has been sending me birthday money every year. My mom just steals it before I ever see it. FML

#16168772
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49451) - you deserved it (2811)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:40am - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34611) - you deserved it (12375)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I realized my mom cares more about Kurt's bullying problem on Glee than she does for mine. FML

#16162317
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37776) - you deserved it (3571)

On 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (6330)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML

#16053522
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27606) - you deserved it (2937)

On 05/05/2011 at 3:13am - work - by epicsandwichartist (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36085) - you deserved it (9466)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24882) - you deserved it (6677)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40011) - you deserved it (4296)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

#5692433
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35674) - you deserved it (3412)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm - animals - by gera3gera - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45838) - you deserved it (3717)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53110) - you deserved it (24654)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML

#2958719
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (9015)

On 06/16/2009 at 11:42pm - work - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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