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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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shamille

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shamille
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 July 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 28695
  • Number of comments : 458
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About shamille : wooooo!

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shamille's favorite FMLs

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (11383) - you deserved it (29846)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

#16990029 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (24012) - you deserved it (3757)

On 07/05/2011 at 6:28pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that my grandma has been sending me birthday money every year. My mom just steals it before I ever see it. FML

#16168772 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (41612) - you deserved it (2034)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:40am - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (28816) - you deserved it (9361)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I realized my mom cares more about Kurt's bullying problem on Glee than she does for mine. FML

#16162317 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (2631)

On 05/13/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (4832)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -

Today, while working at a sandwich shop, we had a shortage and could only put so many veggies on one sandwich. I explained this to one man who was grumpy about it, but kept on ordering. I thought everything went well. He thought my face was a good target to launch his completed sandwich at. FML

#16053522 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (23169) - you deserved it (2180)

On 05/05/2011 at 3:13am - work - by epicsandwichartist (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (30162) - you deserved it (7290)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (5172)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (32015) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

#5692433 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (29090) - you deserved it (2420)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm - animals - by gera3gera - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (38503) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

#4299619 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (33484) - you deserved it (56074)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom was really mad at me and I was driving her to the grocery store. As she was coming out, I decided to be a good daughter and drive right up to the door so she doesn't have to walk to the car. I ran her over. FML

#4299527 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (34932) - you deserved it (16825)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (47711) - you deserved it (20011)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)