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Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31081) - you deserved it (5638)
On 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by fattie4life (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41375) - you deserved it (9693)
On 07/18/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by blackntangirl (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML
I agree, your life sucks (63479) - you deserved it (6856)
On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72817) - you deserved it (10106)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43156) - you deserved it (4425)
On 06/15/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by need2eat - United States (California)
Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31333) - you deserved it (49311)
On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67709) - you deserved it (9697)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML
I agree, your life sucks (19116) - you deserved it (74882)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I gained a few pounds and thought I looked fat. He replied that I looked the same and that I shouldn't worry because he likes fat girls. I never thought I was fat before this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37660) - you deserved it (12913)
On 04/18/2009 at 12:13pm - love - by notsoskinny (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in the Student Union when a man a came up to me and asked if I wanted to be in a study to see how men acted differently when working with attractive women. Flattered and taken aback, I agreed. He then told me I would be part of the control group to see how they act around plain looking women. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47078) - you deserved it (4621)
On 04/14/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by wellgreat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (47309) - you deserved it (4234)
On 04/03/2009 at 10:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57179) - you deserved it (3062)
On 03/30/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I tried having intercourse with my boyfriend, and about 30 seconds in, I heard flipping. He was looking at a porn magazine. "It's to keep my erection" he answered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (79830) - you deserved it (6899)
On 03/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by VampiresSayRawr (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML
I agree, your life sucks (118993) - you deserved it (6274)
On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my boyfriend and I were out to eat. The waiter came and asked what we wanted. My boyfriend said he wanted a cheeseburger and i told the waiter I'll have the same. My boyfriend looked at me and said, " Are you sure you don't want a salad?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51779) - you deserved it (6350)
On 03/07/2009 at 1:36pm - love - by Kate (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 17 June 2013
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