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Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14807) - you deserved it (33651)
On 05/29/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by hs (woman) - United States
Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33321) - you deserved it (4056)
On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11909) - you deserved it (31637)
On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17820) - you deserved it (3679)
On 03/03/2011 at 1:58am - work - by Pickle (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to spend all of my money on textbooks even though my refrigerator is empty. Starving and frustrated, I called home to ask for money for groceries. My mom told me I could afford to skip a few meals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24968) - you deserved it (4270)
On 02/23/2011 at 11:04am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12325) - you deserved it (46743)
On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbor, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML
I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (6135)
On 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by nickyboy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbor, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML
I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (6135)
On 12/02/2010 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by nickyboy (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face than tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (6416)
On 11/17/2010 at 1:02pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I learned that everyone at college was calling me "Parallel Lines" because I've got an unibrow and an apparent hairiness over my mouth. By the way, I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18039) - you deserved it (10326)
On 11/08/2010 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (8128) - you deserved it (21119)
On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27790) - you deserved it (6781)
On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41469) - you deserved it (12361)
On 08/18/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by ...thanks honey - United States (California)
Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41469) - you deserved it (12361)
On 08/18/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by ...thanks honey - United States (California)
Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19846) - you deserved it (6712)
On 07/27/2010 at 6:07am - misc - by mauimango7 (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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