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Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to fine both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of themho was quite attractive . He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face . He apologized, and I then 4 some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
Today,hile I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she lookd at me an leand in!! Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leand too!! Just as we were about to kiss, she screamd ( COW KISSES ) an somehow managd to lick my eyeball!! real FML
Today, my grlfriend and I agred to tell her parents that she's pregnant!! When they startd freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
Taday mah five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Beho you want to be B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turnd to me and said "Mom I want to be a hooker." FML
Friday 27 March 2015