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shadowfly's favorite FMLs
by brunetteshavemorefun / 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
by Minecraftwhyyy / 08/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States / Love
Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML
by jaderie / 04/21/2012 at 5:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy
by Mark Allan / 03/25/2012 at 12:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by dhbeaver / 03/17/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Virginia) / Money
by belieber101 / 03/17/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love
by monquiqui / 07/04/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Pr unlucky / 10/02/2010 at 4:07am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
Today, I was ordering food at McDonalds when a condom fell out and onto the counter. The server looked at me funny before my friend turned around and said, "It's okay, he's never going to use it." FML
by ThePidgeon / 10/19/2009 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
- Today, I have a very important final exam worth 40% of my grade. I'm also battling IBS and dealing… Today, my 15 year old son told me that if school shooters were smart they would pull the fire alarm… Today, I was doing gymnastics with my friends out on a field after school. While doing a handstand,…