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Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15070) - you deserved it (6397)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16375) - you deserved it (1387)
On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19279) - you deserved it (4097)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44585) - you deserved it (7275)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22318) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/23/2012 at 8:03pm - animals - by Christmas sucks - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42703) - you deserved it (3318)
On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (2458)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30519) - you deserved it (4017)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (4356)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8294) - you deserved it (10136)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:12am - love - by superminty - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34360) - you deserved it (5453)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (745)
On 11/08/2011 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28727) - you deserved it (2101)
On 11/02/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, at work I asked a cute, albeit slightly large customer, her name. Being hard of hearing, I thought she said "Porky" and asked her about it. Turns out she'd said Courtney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19542) - you deserved it (7014)
On 11/02/2011 at 3:12am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17930) - you deserved it (61031)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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