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sexytiga

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sexytiga's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

#14070837
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46494) - you deserved it (10117)

On 12/03/2010 at 11:19am - intimacy - by flopsy - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to say happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

#13842104
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26945) - you deserved it (5024)

On 11/14/2010 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by sad gf -

Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML

#13822873
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31759) - you deserved it (2620)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Cantbreath94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

#13822314
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (5439)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML

#13648057
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29527) - you deserved it (8095)

On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was out eating lunch with my parents when my mom complained that I eat too quickly and don't thoroughly chew my food. My dad exclaimed, "That's because she swallows!" FML

#13640932
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (5347)

On 10/29/2010 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (199401) - you deserved it (31524)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (173520) - you deserved it (30345)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241855) - you deserved it (32155)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (146936) - you deserved it (7111)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138631) - you deserved it (8565)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

#364382
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (181897) - you deserved it (28556)

On 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm - intimacy - by illequipt - Canada (Ontario)



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