Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sexypants5266

Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 7:59pm) | Search for a member

sexypants5266

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 January 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 312
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sexypants5266's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of sexypants5266's badges

sexypants5266's favorite FMLs

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

#20950354
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41694) - you deserved it (17538)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm - intimacy - by notsogood - United States

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22504) - you deserved it (2226)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

#20161557
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20294) - you deserved it (2012)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:00am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (4120)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31281) - you deserved it (7493)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML

#20009878
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17882) - you deserved it (40966)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26133) - you deserved it (12394)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24816) - you deserved it (5589)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my daughter attempting to iron her pants with a hair straightener. She's 17. FML

#19590770
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (5547)

On 05/08/2012 at 2:08am - kids - by SomePeoplesKids - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

#19589899
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22052) - you deserved it (6136)

On 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41061) - you deserved it (9740)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

#18491637
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29396) - you deserved it (2727)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by lucas - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

#18358747
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30190) - you deserved it (9483)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11940) - you deserved it (56318)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26850) - you deserved it (7952)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: