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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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sexybeastsexybea

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sexybeastsexybea
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 980
  • Number of comments : 169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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sexybeastsexybea's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (54779) - you deserved it (4615)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

#14770555 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (6796) - you deserved it (38390)

On 01/30/2011 at 4:24am - misc - by terrible kenny - United States (New York)

Today, we got a speeding ticket in the mail with my drunk daughter's picture on it. She was waving at the camera. FML

#14584296 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (18811) - you deserved it (3562)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML

#14526160 (261)

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (3903)

On 01/09/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me". FML

#14449483 (31)

I agree, your life sucks (19411) - you deserved it (1790)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:37am - love - by anon. (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML

#14234823 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (9363)

On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized that the fish-shaped birth mark on the back of my leg, that I have had all my life, is not really shaped like a fish as I had originally thought. It looks just like a penis. FML

#14234557 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (20863) - you deserved it (2144)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:23am - health - by BYUwildchild - United States

Today, my parents held an intervention for me. Apparently they think I'm turning into a goth. All because they saw me re-lacing my shoes with black shoelaces instead of white ones. FML

#14204770 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (20114) - you deserved it (1786)

On 12/14/2010 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

#14164412 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (26776) - you deserved it (45858)

On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

#14120068 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (25500) - you deserved it (4504)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm - kids - by Cherie - United States (New York)

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

#14119130 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (23436) - you deserved it (1859)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (3535) - you deserved it (40891)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sat on by an obese woman. After screaming and squirming, she decided to notice me. Not until after she'd let out a fart. FML

#14067525 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (26585) - you deserved it (2372)

On 12/03/2010 at 1:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got hit in the mouth with a hockey stick and lost four teeth. Yesterday I got my braces of six years removed. FML

#14036176 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (56292) - you deserved it (3456)

On 11/30/2010 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML

#14035490 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (36128) - you deserved it (4685)

On 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by crushed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)