This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, I was serving a table full of drunk people. They used the candles on the table to set the table on fire. Noticing this I ran to it and poured a pitcher of water on it. Then other tables complained saying I caused a disturbance. I got fired for putting out a fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97247) - you totally deserved it (2548)
On 03/02/2009 at 3:40pm - work - by katiejane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
I agree, your life sucks (60326) - you totally deserved it (7801)
On 03/02/2009 at 2:01pm - misc - by EPICfml. (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56183) - you totally deserved it (4961)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:28pm - kids - by E (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mother decided she wanted the family to go on a special outing for the holidays. She asked me to drive everyone when she got home from work. Later I noticed the house was empty. The whole family, including the dog, left without telling me. They took my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38929) - you totally deserved it (1005)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by effingpot (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (377256) - you totally deserved it (64788)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55004) - you totally deserved it (5147)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, this guy that I have been in love with for two years asked me into an empty classroom. He handed me a bouquet of flowers and a t-shirt that he silk screened "prom?" on to. I said it was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. He asked if I thought that my best friend would like it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84412) - you totally deserved it (3200)
On 02/25/2009 at 1:26pm - love - by Abby (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML
I agree, your life sucks (141408) - you totally deserved it (24373)
On 02/25/2009 at 12:17pm - love - by ihatemylife (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got accepted to Yale University. My parents response: "We never expected you to get into college. We spent all of our savings on sending your brother to school." FML
I agree, your life sucks (101507) - you totally deserved it (2800)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:29pm - misc - by Stupid - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my mom : "You and your dad like all the same foods right? Try this for me", she then proceeds to give me a strawberry flavored jelly. I say that it tastes good and ask what she gave me. "It's my new nipple cream, I want to surprise your dad tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (261647) - you totally deserved it (13935)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:54am - intimacy - by yada (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100966) - you totally deserved it (20773)
On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - misc - by CrimsonHills (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105350) - you totally deserved it (6932)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by maxthndr (man) - United States
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (419387) - you totally deserved it (25293)
On 02/09/2009 at 8:55pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (152140) - you totally deserved it (8024)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78970) - you totally deserved it (12703)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)
