Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sens3sfailing

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 7:20am) | Search for a member

sens3sfailing

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 October 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2479
  • Number of comments : 1188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About sens3sfailing : 1) I am an atheist and biology student
2) My favorite band is Memphis May Fire
3) my name comes from another one of my favorite bands, senses fail
5) I enjoy paradoxes, riddles, and conundrums.
6) you didn't notice there was no number 4
7) you went back to check if there really was no number 4.
9) you're laughing to yourself
10) there is no number 8
11) you checked again didn't you?
12) there is no number 11.
13) okay I lied.

sens3sfailing's page activity

Visits<b>ichiukia</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Tyde</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:40am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:16pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:24pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:50am<b>mip_92</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:34pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:41pm<b>RhineBl</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:02pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:29pm<b>katianne</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:38am<b>namine120409</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:54pm<b>boomboxbob</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:30am<b>OMGITSAKITTY</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:10pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:43am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:33pm<b>cjtm98</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:24am<b>najraa</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:27am<b>Axiomus</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:27am

Liked!<b>katianne</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:38pm

sens3sfailing's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of sens3sfailing's badges

sens3sfailing's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34546) - you deserved it (2763)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50465) - you deserved it (3536)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50113) - you deserved it (4725)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

#20423470
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (4023)

On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18304) - you deserved it (50421)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80179) - you deserved it (24600)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28914) - you deserved it (2519)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML

#20419133
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32417) - you deserved it (3347)

On 12/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Chanman1924 - United States

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45735) - you deserved it (25156)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56513) - you deserved it (3828)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30044) - you deserved it (8579)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML

#20403025
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30857) - you deserved it (3337)

On 12/17/2012 at 12:08am - misc - by Cold (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21649) - you deserved it (1632)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5110) - you deserved it (73679)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34633) - you deserved it (3987)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: