About sens3sfailing : 1) I am an atheist and engineering student
2) My favorite band is Memphis May Fire
3) my name comes from another one of my favorite bands, senses fail
5) I enjoy paradoxes, riddles, and conundrums.
6) you didn't notice there was no number 4
7) you went back to check if there really was no number 4.
9) you're laughing to yourself
10) there is no number 8
11) you checked again didn't you?
12) there is no number 11.
13) okay I lied.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32737) - you deserved it (4922)
On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40103) - you deserved it (12039)
On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36782) - you deserved it (3492)
On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29758) - you deserved it (5480)
On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34935) - you deserved it (5494)
On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39284) - you deserved it (1936)
On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31920) - you deserved it (3946)
On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38129) - you deserved it (4756)
On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25571) - you deserved it (3196)
On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)
Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37185) - you deserved it (3841)
On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37364) - you deserved it (3541)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22301) - you deserved it (2464)
On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)
Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29150) - you deserved it (1282)
On 01/13/2013 at 2:22am - love - by MonsterInLaw - United States (Oregon)
Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (2102)
On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15963) - you deserved it (28354)
On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
