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sens3sfailing

Offline (the 08/20/2014 at 7:20am) | Search for a member

sens3sfailing

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 October 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2486
  • Number of comments : 1188
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About sens3sfailing : 1) I am an atheist and biology student
2) My favorite band is Memphis May Fire
3) my name comes from another one of my favorite bands, senses fail
5) I enjoy paradoxes, riddles, and conundrums.
6) you didn't notice there was no number 4
7) you went back to check if there really was no number 4.
9) you're laughing to yourself
10) there is no number 8
11) you checked again didn't you?
12) there is no number 11.
13) okay I lied.

sens3sfailing's page activity

Visits<b>ichiukia</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Tyde</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:40am<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:16pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 3:24pm<b>dandee_one</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 8:50am<b>mip_92</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:34pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:41pm<b>RhineBl</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 11:02pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:29pm<b>katianne</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 7:38am<b>namine120409</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 5:54pm<b>boomboxbob</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 11:30am<b>OMGITSAKITTY</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:10pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:43am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:33pm<b>cjtm98</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:24am<b>najraa</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 4:27am<b>Axiomus</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:27am

Liked!<b>katianne</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:38pm

sens3sfailing's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of sens3sfailing's badges

sens3sfailing's favorite FMLs

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37639) - you deserved it (6653)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52038) - you deserved it (17668)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43120) - you deserved it (5209)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35070) - you deserved it (7599)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally had the best sex I've ever had with this really hot guy I've been hanging out with lately. I thought everything was all well and good until he turned to me and said, "You know, your orgasm face kinda reminds me of Steve Martin, but in a good way." FML

#20570614
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45212) - you deserved it (7802)

On 04/01/2013 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by LadySteveMartin (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47437) - you deserved it (3172)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

#20548252
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38783) - you deserved it (5589)

On 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm - love - by noooooooo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

#20529387
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43989) - you deserved it (6710)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

#20510821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35323) - you deserved it (5360)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

#20474595
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47119) - you deserved it (5510)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:57am - intimacy - by heartbroken (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48632) - you deserved it (5856)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

#20462282
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (2862)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:21am - misc - by pigtails (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31249) - you deserved it (3065)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19247) - you deserved it (39163)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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