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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462304) - you deserved it (574253)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55617) - you deserved it (324448)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67857) - you deserved it (15064)
On 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by jsw029 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39491) - you deserved it (4635)
On 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Jello (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (102759) - you deserved it (17446)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (61844) - you deserved it (15470)
On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55488) - you deserved it (6467)
On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40580) - you deserved it (6413)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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