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Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23023) - you deserved it (2676)
On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21788) - you deserved it (1947)
On 02/18/2010 at 7:44pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30995) - you deserved it (3986)
On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23805) - you deserved it (6544)
On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15839) - you deserved it (1855)
On 12/22/2009 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by omgboobs (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8105) - you deserved it (20541)
On 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm - animals - by smellyhand (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (1607)
On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States
Today, I stepped away from my desk for a few minutes only to return to find the general manager installing updates on my computer. This wouldn't have been an issue had I not pulled up a website explaining in great detail the effects and causes of vaginal yeast infections. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7756) - you deserved it (18288)
On 11/04/2009 at 7:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27052) - you deserved it (5577)
On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22869) - you deserved it (4743)
On 10/28/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75291) - you deserved it (10634)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6084) - you deserved it (38853)
On 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by BadStuden (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26868) - you deserved it (6531)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36259) - you deserved it (17641)
On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36259) - you deserved it (17641)
On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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