selenagomezlover

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selenagomezlover

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 December 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2005
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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selenagomezlover's page activity

Visits<b>TheGamingNirvana</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 8:10am<b>insanelocket</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 12:26pm<b>Grayy</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 7:31pm<b>IronicLights</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 4:41pm<b>jjumprope</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:15pm<b>sunfox5508</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 1:44am<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:57pm<b>ThisIsMyUsernam</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 9:56am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:32pm<b>Bricktothehead</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 6:00pm<b>batliner56</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:02am<b>chefcow</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:07am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:21pm<b>FlabbberGasted</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Goodliife</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:26pm<b>cieraisacat</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 1:54pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 5:15pm

selenagomezlover's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of selenagomezlover's badges

selenagomezlover's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2010 at 7:44pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

by soonaked / 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

by omgboobs / 12/22/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

by smellyhand / 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

by Ghost / 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I stepped away from my desk for a few minutes only to return to find the general manager installing updates on my computer. This wouldn't have been an issue had I not pulled up a website explaining in great detail the effects and causes of vaginal yeast infections. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 4:03am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML

by BadStuden / 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML

by Overflow / 08/16/2009 at 5:05pm / United States (California) / Kids