This member hasn't filled in their description.
selenagomezlover's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
selenagomezlover's favorite FMLs
Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML
by needanewride / 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
by Lunazel93 / 10/22/2012 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Bug / 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by anon / 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by scarred_sibling / 10/15/2012 at 8:10am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 6:28am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Randolph / 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML
by monkeyzz / 10/12/2012 at 7:11am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by ohgod. / 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids