Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

selenagomezlover

Search for a member

selenagomezlover

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 December 1998 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 756
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

selenagomezlover's page activity

Visits<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:26pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:26pm<b>cieraisacat</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 1:54pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 5:15pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 9:09pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 4:23am<b>KhrystallDaBest</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 10:41pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 1:25am<b>mangoboy1</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 8:37am<b>gary3768</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 10:53pm<b>perdix</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 8:04am<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 1:45am<b>JesusPiece</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 10:46am<b>Shenanigans9</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 12:39am<b>Pitbull305</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 10:55am<b>WaywardDaughter</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 9:28am<b>cpt0bvious</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 1:23am<b>ffemt3352</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 1:29pm

selenagomezlover's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of selenagomezlover's badges

selenagomezlover's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23824) - you deserved it (2770)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24684) - you deserved it (1775)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28532) - you deserved it (1495)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5877) - you deserved it (50839)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22035) - you deserved it (1999)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

#20118123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (3192)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33064) - you deserved it (2535)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6671) - you deserved it (54993)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (4234)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (5970)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (5508)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

#20109821
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23715) - you deserved it (2665)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm - kids - by ohgod. - United States (Florida)

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16072) - you deserved it (60823)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26848) - you deserved it (6928)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: