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About sean89 : Murphy's law hates me
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46640) - you deserved it (5108)
On 06/27/2009 at 10:29am - love - by a_B_c_D_e_F_g (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92980) - you deserved it (5801)
On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51172) - you deserved it (18822)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (7223)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81663) - you deserved it (15874)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43516) - you deserved it (7529)
On 04/30/2009 at 10:55am - work - by RckRagman (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I walked into the ladies restroom and was shocked to see the guy I've had a huge crush on for two years. Peeing. In the sink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46368) - you deserved it (3739)
On 04/28/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56547) - you deserved it (5209)
On 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38316) - you deserved it (2137)
On 04/27/2009 at 1:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22681) - you deserved it (54264)
On 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by gabormelchior (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56711) - you deserved it (6213)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Daniel_rules (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58306) - you deserved it (11969)
On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (76905) - you deserved it (5445)
On 04/17/2009 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (96500) - you deserved it (4262)
On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55076) - you deserved it (8316)
On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
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