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sdj215

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sdj215

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  • Number of visits : 170
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sdj215's page activity

Visits<b>challan</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 1:08am

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sdj215's favorite FMLs

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22171) - you deserved it (18311)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML

#19240246
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13418) - you deserved it (49449)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:48pm - love - by gabbykinz13 - United States

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24910) - you deserved it (2833)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML

#18844690
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (3307)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34634) - you deserved it (3017)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49159) - you deserved it (46241)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14580) - you deserved it (31162)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

#18181651
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (4855)

On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (32375)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved

Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML

#18029483
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26700) - you deserved it (17701)

On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32049) - you deserved it (6335)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64013) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36302) - you deserved it (4078)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35797) - you deserved it (2578)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

#17465074
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7712) - you deserved it (50580)

On 08/13/2011 at 11:56pm - health - by j - United States



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