Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

screenager5

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

screenager5

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1924
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About screenager5 : Hey hi hello. I like biology, tv shows, getting pierced, and spending too much time on FML.

screenager5's page activity

Visits<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:10pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:06pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:23am<b>chidofrito</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 9:22am<b>PUCKSTOPPER1976</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:14pm<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:05pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 4:01am<b>Zurg_676</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:58am<b>mountainmanmike</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:53am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 12:31am<b>RA91</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 11:26pm<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:32pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:21pm<b>sinaholic</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:26pm<b>chip993</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:43pm<b>bnbhimp</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:43pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:29pm<b>seemo82</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:12pm

Fucked!<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:11pm<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 3:33am<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:14pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm<b>PrinceOfBritain</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:47am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:06am<b>jmon707</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 9:03am<b>pickles1994</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:43am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:49am<b>mikethekid</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 9:52pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 4:01pm<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:14am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 7:52am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:04pm<b>salicious77</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:57am<b>Crash0997</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:51am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:57pm

screenager5's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of screenager5's badges

screenager5's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31751) - you deserved it (6375)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (6816)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (4978)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

#15366676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32257) - you deserved it (6631)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

#14345671
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10968) - you deserved it (24570)

On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118904) - you deserved it (16045)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (9050)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (9050)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

#13048948
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29202) - you deserved it (7748)

On 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm - misc - by sleepwalker - United States (Georgia)

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

#12990617
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35581) - you deserved it (2998)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38373) - you deserved it (7678)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18885) - you deserved it (27510)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML

#8586594
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (6816)

On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

#8340004
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11920) - you deserved it (23417)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm - love - by soomeone - United States (California)

Today, I ran into a former college classmate at Subway. He gushed on and on about how I was the only one in our class with true potential. Then I asked him what kind of sandwich he wanted, because 3 years out of college, Subway is still the only place that will hire a music major. FML

#8125796
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27477) - you deserved it (7045)

On 02/11/2010 at 9:07am - work - by Prodigy (man) - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: