screenager5

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screenager5

58Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2867
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About screenager5 : let's tessellate.

screenager5's page activity

Visits<b>brandonc8892</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:06pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 12:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:03pm<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 9:29pm<b>Siorghra</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:00am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:15am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 9:14pm<b>tomjay007</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 7:29pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 3:07am<b>YDISM</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 12:21am<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:59pm<b>mythicatofu</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 7:34am<b>OriginalAndBest</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 7:24pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:32pm<b>BJF99</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 4:09am<b>panjoloco</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 12:51pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 3:15pm<b>rreyes0051</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 4:30pm<b>dtut</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:44am<b>AceCharmander</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:55am<b>ngrande22</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:29am<b>aabhasj</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:26am<b>frnk</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:46am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:28am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:22pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:59pm<b>ThatOneALGuy</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 1:40pm<b>bgbell98</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 1:29pm<b>tomjay007</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 12:41am<b>alexjl</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 11:28pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:53pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:01pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 9:25pm<b>papa_vas</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 9:03pm

screenager5's FML badges

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50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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screenager5's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

by toothpastecat / 05/13/2011 at 11:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

by Username / 04/16/2011 at 4:39am / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

by poopybed / 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

by Amy / 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

by uggo / 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

by B-rent / 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm / United States / Work

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

by person / 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm / Jordan (Amman Governorate) / Health

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

by StayPositive / 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

by StayPositive / 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

by sleepwalker / 09/14/2010 at 2:32pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

by anonymous / 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

by maebyf / 08/31/2010 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

by Oops / 05/23/2010 at 5:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Love