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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3042
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About screenager5 : let's tessellate.

screenager5's page activity

Visits<b>brandonc8892</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:06pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 12:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:03pm<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 9:29pm<b>Siorghra</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:00am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:15am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 9:14pm<b>tomjay007</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 7:29pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 3:07am<b>YDISM</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 12:21am<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:59pm<b>mythicatofu</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 7:34am<b>OriginalAndBest</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 7:24pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:32pm<b>BJF99</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 4:09am<b>panjoloco</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 12:51pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 3:15pm<b>rreyes0051</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 4:30pm<b>dtut</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:44am<b>ngrande22</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:29am<b>aabhasj</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:26am<b>frnk</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:46am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:28am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:22pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:59pm<b>ThatOneALGuy</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 1:40pm<b>bgbell98</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 1:29pm<b>tomjay007</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 12:41am<b>alexjl</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 11:28pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:53pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:01pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 9:25pm<b>papa_vas</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 9:03pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 8:16pm

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50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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screenager5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

by lyla / 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

by fingerhut / 03/03/2012 at 3:27am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

by Benjamin / 01/25/2012 at 12:03am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

by anon. / 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

by shitttyyyday / 01/14/2012 at 2:47am / United States / Health

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

by bunnyluver4545 / 01/11/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

by newlysingle / 12/14/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Love

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

by weswithaute / 11/13/2011 at 1:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend after helping him study for his ACT, giving him a back rub, and having really awesome sex with him. His reason for dumping me? He's too stressed out to have a girlfriend right now. FML

by stupidboys / 09/06/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

by ApparentDrugAddict / 08/08/2011 at 2:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML

by Username / 07/24/2011 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 1:38am / Canada / Love