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screenager5

Offline (the 01/06/2014 at 1:51am) | Search for a member

screenager5

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 781
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About screenager5 : Oh hi. I am 21.

I like a butt-ton of tv shows, making lists, most food, cute and/or cool animals, science (particularly biology), music, mint chip ice cream, funny movies, getting piercings, super heroes, and reading books.

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Visits<b>spockadelic</b> - yesterday at 8:35pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:56pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:56pm<b>ZorroRooster</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:52pm<b>jwgg</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:42pm<b>Crash0997</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Ins3rtEpicName</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:13am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 5:31pm<b>anjtrg_1112</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 10:44pm<b>young_buck12345</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 9:26pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 5:26pm<b>ipwnallun00bz</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 12:11pm<b>underthestars55</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 3:56pm<b>rks01</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 3:28am<b>SuperCaroline131</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:29pm<b>Bluebl4ze</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 4:25pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 8:47pm<b>SirRipsABong420</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 4:20pm

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screenager5's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51305) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40374) - you deserved it (7059)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (22164)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

#17403916
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (6672)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML

#17237614
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29512) - you deserved it (3467)

On 07/24/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35273) - you deserved it (5487)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34828) - you deserved it (8407)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

#16157104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (7751)

On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

#15804497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34249) - you deserved it (4225)

On 04/16/2011 at 4:39am - love - by Username - United States

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31403) - you deserved it (6345)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (6492)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into a room, where a guy was violently picking his nose. He kept picking. A very pretty girl walked in after me, and he immediately stopped and sat up straight. Apparently, I'm too ugly to motivate strangers to stop excavating their nasal cavities. FML

#15546142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32224) - you deserved it (4871)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:12pm - misc - by uggo - United States

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

#15366676
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30531) - you deserved it (6399)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

#14345671
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10813) - you deserved it (24335)

On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112020) - you deserved it (15209)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)



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