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screenager5

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screenager5

22Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1925
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About screenager5 : Hey hi hello. I like biology, tv shows, getting pierced, and spending too much time on FML.

screenager5's page activity

Visits<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:10pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 2:06pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 4:23am<b>chidofrito</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 9:22am<b>PUCKSTOPPER1976</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:14pm<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 1:05pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 4:01am<b>Zurg_676</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:58am<b>mountainmanmike</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 2:53am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 12:31am<b>RA91</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 11:26pm<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:32pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 8:21pm<b>sinaholic</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 7:26pm<b>chip993</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:43pm<b>bnbhimp</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:43pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:29pm<b>seemo82</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:12pm

Fucked!<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 8:11pm<b>thunderfucked</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 3:33am<b>legendairy3000</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:14pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm<b>PrinceOfBritain</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:47am<b>TheTrainKid</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:06am<b>jmon707</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 9:03am<b>pickles1994</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 7:43am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:49am<b>mikethekid</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 9:52pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 4:01pm<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:14am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 7:52am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:04pm<b>salicious77</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:57am<b>Crash0997</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:51am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:57pm

screenager5's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of screenager5's badges

screenager5's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22865) - you deserved it (9752)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

#18969254
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32750) - you deserved it (3678)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31280) - you deserved it (2721)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

#18837069
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (7957)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by anon. (woman) - United States

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42927) - you deserved it (3846)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14758) - you deserved it (33853)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53957) - you deserved it (3284)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41683) - you deserved it (7211)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30070) - you deserved it (22303)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

#17403916
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39194) - you deserved it (6922)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML

#17237614
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31369) - you deserved it (3553)

On 07/24/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Username - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37548) - you deserved it (5687)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35183) - you deserved it (8449)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

#16157104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26629) - you deserved it (8057)

On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

#15804497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34591) - you deserved it (4238)

On 04/16/2011 at 4:39am - love - by Username - United States



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