About screenager5 : life's a bitch and people are assholes. I guess I come here to read other people's misfortunes so I can feel better about mine.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16576) - you deserved it (6600)
On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16576) - you deserved it (6600)
On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)
Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (2155)
On 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31597) - you deserved it (5906)
On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15112) - you deserved it (4571)
On 02/23/2010 at 11:48am - intimacy - by jasmine - United States
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8149) - you deserved it (15258)
On 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm - love - by soomeone - United States (California)
Today, I ran into a former college classmate at Subway. He gushed on and on about how I was the only one in our class with true potential. Then I asked him what kind of sandwich he wanted, because 3 years out of college, Subway is still the only place that will hire a music major. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20064) - you deserved it (5021)
On 02/11/2010 at 9:07am - work - by Prodigy (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22783) - you deserved it (1933)
On 12/31/2009 at 11:52am - misc - by MorganRox26 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (43505)
On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4937) - you deserved it (38654)
On 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75032) - you deserved it (10604)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19892) - you deserved it (5209)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (6524)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45165) - you deserved it (1970)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Tyler (man) - United States
Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45506) - you deserved it (20254)
On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Friday 24 May 2013
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