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screenager5

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screenager5
  • Town/Country : Anustart, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 501
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About screenager5 : Oh hi. I am 20, and an "adult."

I like a butt-ton of tv shows, making lists, most food, cute and/or cool animals, science (particularly biology), music, mint chip ice cream, funny movies, getting piercings, super heroes, and reading books.

Message if you feel like it.

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screenager5's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15701) - you deserved it (2901)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25980) - you deserved it (4863)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

#19833451
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (2508)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:23am - love - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

#19731019
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20956) - you deserved it (2909)

On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

#19726144
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26316) - you deserved it (1991)

On 06/03/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Apissedoffguy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

#19698892
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14340) - you deserved it (2612)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm - misc - by cunting cunts (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

#19658490
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15303) - you deserved it (3589)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

#19314289
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17209) - you deserved it (4279)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19201) - you deserved it (3001)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

#18969254
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28840) - you deserved it (3343)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (2358)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

#18837069
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20250) - you deserved it (6100)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by anon. (woman) - United States

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40110) - you deserved it (3592)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11658) - you deserved it (29003)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45873) - you deserved it (2314)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States



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