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screenager5

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screenager5

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screenager5
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1358
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About screenager5 : Hey hi hello. I like biology, tv shows, getting pierced, and spending too much time on FML.

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screenager5's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

#20110486
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25241) - you deserved it (1701)

On 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm - misc - by tiredofthis - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

#20090663
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19936) - you deserved it (6365) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

#20049241
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32813) - you deserved it (1687)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20268) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29068) - you deserved it (5278)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

#19833451
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25635) - you deserved it (3478)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:23am - love - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

#19731019
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (4004)

On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

#19726144
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27516) - you deserved it (2070)

On 06/03/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Apissedoffguy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

#19698892
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18071) - you deserved it (3034)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm - misc - by cunting cunts (man) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

#19658490
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17745) - you deserved it (3880)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

#19314289
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20063) - you deserved it (4663)

On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20713) - you deserved it (3195)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20691) - you deserved it (9311)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

#18969254
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (3515)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31107) - you deserved it (2713)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)



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