About screenager5 : life's a bitch and people are assholes. I guess I come here to read other people's misfortunes so I can feel better about mine.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35344) - you deserved it (2760)
On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10281) - you deserved it (22456)
On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45050) - you deserved it (2295)
On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States
Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34363) - you deserved it (5453)
On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24153) - you deserved it (16841)
On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30752) - you deserved it (5123)
On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24864) - you deserved it (2539)
On 07/24/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Username - United States (California)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (5020)
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (6420)
On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19864) - you deserved it (7194)
On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26130) - you deserved it (5047)
On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26506) - you deserved it (5026)
On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (4942)
On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8549) - you deserved it (17596)
On 12/26/2010 at 12:59pm - health - by person - Jordan (Amman Governorate)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (91448) - you deserved it (10766)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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