screenager5

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screenager5

58Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2705
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About screenager5 : let's tessellate.

screenager5's page activity

Visits<b>brandonc8892</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:06pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 12:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:03pm<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 9:29pm<b>Siorghra</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:00am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:15am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 9:14pm<b>tomjay007</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 7:29pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 3:07am<b>YDISM</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 12:21am<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:59pm<b>mythicatofu</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 7:34am<b>OriginalAndBest</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 7:24pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:32pm<b>BJF99</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 4:09am<b>panjoloco</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 12:51pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 3:15pm<b>rreyes0051</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 4:30pm<b>dtut</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:44am<b>AceCharmander</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:55am<b>ngrande22</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:29am<b>aabhasj</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:26am<b>frnk</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:46am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:28am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:22pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:59pm<b>ThatOneALGuy</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 1:40pm<b>bgbell98</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 1:29pm<b>tomjay007</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 12:41am<b>alexjl</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 11:28pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:53pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:01pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 9:25pm<b>papa_vas</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 9:03pm

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screenager5's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

by Amathiel / 12/29/2012 at 10:23am / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm / United States / Love

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

by tiredofthis / 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

by Display / 09/27/2012 at 12:10am / Health

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

by Sarah / 08/30/2012 at 8:58am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 10:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

by Jarman / 07/26/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 10:23am / Canada / Love

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

by Bishop / 06/06/2012 at 10:19am / Transportation

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

by nanall / 06/04/2012 at 3:19am / United States / Kids

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

by Apissedoffguy / 06/03/2012 at 11:20am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

by cunting cunts / 05/29/2012 at 1:10pm / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Transportation

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

by bear / 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm / Norway (Nordland) / Health