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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3040
  • Number of comments : 91
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About screenager5 : let's tessellate.

screenager5's page activity

Visits<b>brandonc8892</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 3:06pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 12:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 10:03pm<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 9:29pm<b>Siorghra</b> - the 05/01/2016 at 10:45pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:00am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 9:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 9:15am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 9:14pm<b>tomjay007</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 7:29pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 3:07am<b>YDISM</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 12:21am<b>duduv2</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:59pm<b>mythicatofu</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 7:34am<b>OriginalAndBest</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 7:24pm<b>arabian22</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 2:32pm<b>BJF99</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 4:09am<b>panjoloco</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 12:51pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 3:15pm<b>rreyes0051</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 4:30pm<b>dtut</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 10:44am<b>ngrande22</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:29am<b>aabhasj</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 1:26am<b>frnk</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:46am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 12:28am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 11:22pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:59pm<b>ThatOneALGuy</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 1:40pm<b>bgbell98</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 1:29pm<b>tomjay007</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 12:41am<b>alexjl</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 11:28pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:53pm<b>thatguy240</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:01pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 9:25pm<b>papa_vas</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 9:03pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 8:16pm

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screenager5's favorite FMLs

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

by Mj / 07/19/2016 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

by killmenow / 12/03/2015 at 12:33am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Love

Today, a girl called me a racist, stereotyping asshole. All I did was ask a kid who happens to be Asian to tutor me in math. Which I didn't do just because he's Asian, but rather because he's in college and is actually a brilliant mathematician. FML

by yep, she does have a tumblr / 07/17/2015 at 10:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

by meeeee! / 03/02/2015 at 8:26am / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals

Today, at college, I was frantically trying to finish an essay on gay rights that was due less than an hour later. In the end I failed, because the college internet filters kept classifying every single page containing the information I needed as "sex", and blocked it all. FML

by fstfckd / 06/07/2014 at 3:16pm / United States / Work

Today, I found out my ex just got engaged to a girl he met 3 months ago, shortly before he ended our 5 year relationship. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't believe in marriage and couldn't be with someone who wanted to get married. Right. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2014 at 10:56am / Japan / Love

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

by some band player / 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

by whipplewhip / 06/30/2013 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

by VMV / 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

by ItRainedOutside / 01/06/2013 at 3:49am / United States (Florida) / Love