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screenager5

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screenager5

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screenager5
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 May 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1369
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About screenager5 : Hey hi hello. I like biology, tv shows, getting pierced, and spending too much time on FML.

screenager5's page activity

Visits<b>AnasMerchant</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:26am<b>ex_omer</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:46am<b>morondon000</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:35pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 11:05am<b>letmehavemytea</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 5:30pm<b>salicious77</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:48am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 3:14am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 3:09pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 7:49am<b>jelrid</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:36pm<b>YouDontNomie</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 7:36pm<b>XcuzimsotiredX</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 11:08am<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 5:12pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:14pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:22am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 6:57pm<b>Crash0997</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:52pm<b>A07</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 7:49am

Liked!<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 2:14am<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 7:52am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 2:04pm<b>salicious77</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 10:57am<b>Crash0997</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:51am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:57pm<b>sadbubbles</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:37pm<b>superamericankr</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 6:10am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 9:32pm

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screenager5's favorite FMLs

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (18237)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, at college, I was frantically trying to finish an essay on gay rights that was due less than an hour later. In the end I failed, because the college internet filters kept classifying every single page containing the information I needed as "sex", and blocked it all. FML

#21166210
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37539) - you deserved it (13318)

On 06/07/2014 at 3:16pm - work - by fstfckd (man) - United States

Today, I found out my ex just got engaged to a girl he met 3 months ago, shortly before he ended our 5 year relationship. His reason for breaking up was that he didn't believe in marriage and couldn't be with someone who wanted to get married. Right. FML

#21089901
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43381) - you deserved it (3598)

On 03/18/2014 at 10:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML

#21082619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (4203)

On 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm - misc - by some band player - United States (Illinois)

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML

#21064527
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48223) - you deserved it (17828)

On 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57222) - you deserved it (6782)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48897) - you deserved it (3135)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML

#20489333
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27982) - you deserved it (8477)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, after 3 years with my dream girl, I decided to pop the question by making her complete a scavenger hunt ending in her finding me, suit and everything, by the park bench where we had our first kiss. She came home tired and, instead of following the clues, decided to watch TV all day. FML

#20444582
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29713) - you deserved it (4540)

On 01/06/2013 at 3:49am - love - by ItRainedOutside (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a proper look at myself in the mirror. I have recently lost 5 lbs. Turns out that it mainly shows on my boob. Not boobs. Boob. Right one only. FML

Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML

#20427797
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40096) - you deserved it (3881)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30154) - you deserved it (6210)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML

#20175516
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (1388)

On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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