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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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scottyz1

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scottyz1
  • Town/Country : Palmy, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 February 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 19992
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About scottyz1 : Hai guys, that's me pictured.

scottyz1's last visitors

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scottyz1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes he did! He's lying I saw him drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

#2593679 (393)

I agree, your life sucks (76615) - you deserved it (3837)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (49264) - you deserved it (5363)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at Jiffy Lube a woman and her 4 year-old son were waiting at the checkout counter. As I walk by them, her son mistakes me for his father and holds my hand. The woman immediately grabs her son's wrist, looks at me, and says "Sicko." FML

#2341897 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (44810) - you deserved it (1708)

On 05/27/2009 at 2:37pm - misc - by thebigpeezy - United States

Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML

#2340174 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (39735) - you deserved it (3875)

On 05/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by snitchovich (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

#2339155 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (40931) - you deserved it (1793)

On 05/27/2009 at 11:39am - misc - by Brook363 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML

#2273679 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (55376) - you deserved it (2304)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by nadette (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

#1253914 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (49769) - you deserved it (3794)

On 04/23/2009 at 11:51am - work - by helen_ (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fund raiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in 4 weeks, she said "Oh I can't wait!". Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!". FML

#891660 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (7381) - you deserved it (45589)

On 04/09/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by phatkroger10 (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

#873540 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (11190) - you deserved it (56613)

On 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by UGH (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

#868136 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (13390) - you deserved it (72922)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I feared my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion i forgot to take off the computer desk after i masturbated last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she had changed the backgroud to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML

#864808 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (6751) - you deserved it (45067)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (9748) - you deserved it (113369)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

#210718 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (16030) - you deserved it (162326)

On 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm - health - by sheyo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)