scottyz1

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scottyz1

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 20796
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About scottyz1 : Hai guys, that's me pictured.

scottyz1's page activity

Visits<b>Wondermage</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:35am<b>Rstein14</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 3:28pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:10am<b>MandMmuffinMan</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 12:39am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 6:01pm<b>julian0605</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 2:38pm<b>sinathedreamer</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 11:16am<b>mittykay</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 6:57pm<b>LiiaaBee</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 4:28am<b>silly_gal</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 1:00am<b>unwisemonk</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 5:26pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:45pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:54am<b>Zigster94</b> - the 01/08/2010 at 7:55pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 09/16/2009 at 8:06pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 08/30/2009 at 10:56am<b>RNorthlandLGB</b> - the 08/11/2009 at 5:38pm<b>Razzmatazz</b> - the 07/22/2009 at 4:02am

scottyz1's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

scottyz1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

by Kimmiko / 06/04/2009 at 8:17am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Transportation

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, at Jiffy Lube a woman and her 4 year-old son were waiting at the checkout counter. As I walk by them, her son mistakes me for his father and holds my hand. The woman immediately grabs her son's wrist, looks at me, and says "Sicko." FML

by thebigpeezy / 05/27/2009 at 2:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML

by snitchovich / 05/27/2009 at 12:46pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

by Brook363 / 05/27/2009 at 11:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML

by nadette / 05/25/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

by helen_ / 04/23/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was selling cookie dough for a fund raiser at an old folks home. One lady ordered a box and told me that she loved cookie dough. I told her it'd be here in 4 weeks, she said "Oh I can't wait!". Not really thinking, as I left I said, "I hope you can make it till then!". FML

by phatkroger10 / 04/09/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I realized that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

by UGH / 04/08/2009 at 4:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand in his boxers, he stands up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

by cdoyle / 04/08/2009 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2009 at 12:34am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

by ashleyevans / 04/04/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

by sheyo / 03/04/2009 at 8:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health