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scorpiocookie's favorite FMLs
by julia / 06/11/2011 at 7:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by ven980 / 06/01/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML
by Taurus_ChicKa / 05/31/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (Kansas) / Money
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML
by kingpin9219 / 05/30/2011 at 12:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 12:32am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
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- Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over… Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he… Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them…