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scenekid06's FML badges
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scenekid06's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
by maybe dead in a day / 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by Claire / 01/19/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Maryland) / Love
by tingles / 01/19/2013 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Intimacy
by damnthedog / 01/19/2013 at 2:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by LaLince / 01/19/2013 at 1:14am / Switzerland / Transportation
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
by mel / 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I had a sex dream, which I interrupted by having an OCD-induced panic attack because apparently we weren't using protection. My brain won't even let me enjoy the fantasy action I get in my sleep. FML
by Dead_Fox / 11/21/2012 at 12:48am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML
by vanillatwilight2 / 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by they've been broken up for a year. / 11/19/2012 at 2:13am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead…