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Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5458) - you totally deserved it (14919)
On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5469) - you totally deserved it (17683)
On 11/15/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18720) - you totally deserved it (3137)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you totally deserved it (4111)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21211) - you totally deserved it (4375)
On 10/06/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by Crotch_Rocket_Rider (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21345) - you totally deserved it (3479)
On 09/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4724) - you totally deserved it (33551)
On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37353) - you totally deserved it (5955)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32810) - you totally deserved it (9367)
On 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was helping my mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turns to me and says, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just... I want to have fun." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37825) - you totally deserved it (2852)
On 08/29/2009 at 2:40pm - misc - by Nofun (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my dad met my boyfriend. The first words out of my dad's mouth were "If my daughter sees your penis, I'll cut it off". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43332) - you totally deserved it (4473)
On 08/27/2009 at 6:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mother and father are insisting that I go on a date with a German exchange student they met on the weekend. Why? Because we have similar glasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21625) - you totally deserved it (1993)
On 08/23/2009 at 9:29am - love - by Foureyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7797) - you totally deserved it (31501)
On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35679) - you totally deserved it (3679)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14041) - you totally deserved it (36193)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
