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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44198) - you deserved it (5761)
On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33866) - you deserved it (110024)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65424) - you deserved it (3124)
On 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by KarlwithaK (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (157310) - you deserved it (8665)
On 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm - money - by Sad (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59983) - you deserved it (16702)
On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin: priceless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (152044) - you deserved it (47068)
On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57684) - you deserved it (3887)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (61822) - you deserved it (20373)
On 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by AGluckily (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (314323) - you deserved it (41287)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44024) - you deserved it (7470)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (209624) - you deserved it (45117)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37004) - you deserved it (2805)
On 02/25/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17541) - you deserved it (2773)
On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (45408) - you deserved it (3924)
On 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm - kids - by mimo - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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