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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33962) - you deserved it (9028)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13602) - you deserved it (4485)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he tried to put his hand inside my pants. I didn't want it to be that easy so I denied, but he insisted a lot and I finally let him. He started to sing "We Are The Champions." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6733) - you deserved it (12440)
On 12/29/2009 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by queen (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)
Today, I sent my resume to a place where I hoped to work at. Since the job requires me to be doing work on the run, I put on it that I have a laptop. The only problem is that I always thought it was "labtop." I didn't learn the correct spelling until my daughter called me an idiot, she's 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4598) - you deserved it (27294)
On 12/21/2009 at 2:04am - work - by eliteslayer29 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17855) - you deserved it (8211)
On 12/06/2009 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Ballhugger (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29411) - you deserved it (2738)
On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20804) - you deserved it (3689)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (3176)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32254) - you deserved it (12815)
On 08/11/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Lilly_28 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35848) - you deserved it (6634)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42139) - you deserved it (4341)
On 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm - kids - by loserwithlice (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51878) - you deserved it (2924)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (2328)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by Grossedouttt - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got an email from a guy to whom I sold my old phone to over eBay. Turns out I forgot to delete the nude photos of myself and my boyfriend that I had stored up. His email asked me for "any PIN numbers needed to use the phone, and oh by the way, nice tits." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7085) - you deserved it (54345)
On 07/01/2009 at 6:31am - intimacy - by paprikarulz (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177470) - you deserved it (25386)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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