About sargent603 : Hello there creep, my name is Michael. life is a journey, a tough one, but at least you don't have to go at it alone, it's always nice to have a little company when going through the worst of times, and even better when they are there for the best of times. If you want to chat just message me, I'm usually on nightly. cheers.
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sargent603's favorite FMLs
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy
by Eve / 06/24/2011 at 6:45am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
by BrownDump / 05/14/2011 at 6:43am / United States / Health
by mrssagdiyev / 03/05/2011 at 9:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML
by Mervin22 / 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML
by blackitalian / 11/26/2010 at 10:43am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Heyy / 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Zippermania9 / 08/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face" while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML
by Anonymous / 09/19/2009 at 12:55am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by mrboston / 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
by hunnydoll / 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML
by waxinghorror / 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my… Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden… Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact…
- Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…