About sarcasm_isme : in a nutshell: im a fitness instructor, am married to an amateur body builder and we run an anti steroid campaign through our gym. Juice Heads go home!!
sarcasm_isme's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
sarcasm_isme's favorite FMLs
by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Burnt / 05/02/2011 at 5:33am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
by Cassie / 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm / New Zealand (Southland) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 04/30/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Health
Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Tokany / 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous
by Cecilly2010 / 04/28/2011 at 11:53am / Animals
by ihaveahome / 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML
by sadcase / 04/12/2011 at 10:01am / Australia / Health
by CheeseyPotatoes / 04/11/2011 at 9:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
by FistFighter / 04/09/2011 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 11:30am / United States / Health
Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the 'dead' man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML
by Anonymous / 04/04/2011 at 8:17pm / Ireland (Cavan) / Health
Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML
by Anonymous / 03/29/2011 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health