Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sarcasm_isme

Search for a member

sarcasm_isme
  • Town/Country : providence, United States of America
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 April 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 877
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About sarcasm_isme : in a nutshell: im a fitness instructor, am married to an amateur body builder and we run an anti steroid campaign through our gym. Juice Heads go home!!

sarcasm_isme's last visitors

Rozay333blueflygonjmccarley1jep1023LookOnBrightSideyoutubetreBobissmallFreakkshoooww

sarcasm_isme's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of sarcasm_isme's badges

sarcasm_isme's favorite FMLs

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20473) - you deserved it (39736)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

#16016488
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8122) - you deserved it (52729)

On 05/02/2011 at 5:33am - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13705) - you deserved it (42379)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

#16005260
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22487) - you deserved it (3269)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

#15985545
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (6876)

On 04/30/2011 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

#15970719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22194) - you deserved it (15963)

On 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, when I came home from work, my computer was drenched with water. My sister claimed there was smoke coming out of it. FML

#15964444
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26624) - you deserved it (2292)

On 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by Tokany (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43029) - you deserved it (4651)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, at 6am I was waiting for the tram to go home from my late night job. A homeless man came up to me and offered to buy me a beer because "guys like us have to stick together." FML

#15754863
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24967) - you deserved it (3474)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm - misc - by ihaveahome (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9184) - you deserved it (116740)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18313) - you deserved it (63190)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML

#15702397
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (11113)

On 04/09/2011 at 12:01am - health - by FistFighter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

#15693395
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10878) - you deserved it (47085)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I heard that one of our customers had passed away. Saddened, I told everyone who came into our shop about his death. Understandably, some customers got very upset and one even fainted. Suddenly, the 'dead' man walked into the shop. Turns out I got the name wrong. FML

#15640936
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9351) - you deserved it (33543)

On 04/04/2011 at 8:17pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Cavan)

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

#15550416
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (2698)

On 03/29/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: