Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sarbear11753

Offline (yesterday at 3:20pm) | Search for a member

sarbear11753

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3429
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sarbear11753's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:24pm<b>PieReaper</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 5:52pm<b>twilight_lupus</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:12am<b>persianninja</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 5:23pm<b>GrantEvans</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 3:49pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 11:18am<b>colerean</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:10pm<b>2_Fn_funny</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:44am<b>CorpsmanUp88</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 9:26pm<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 7:08pm<b>tommyfox</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 3:29pm<b>rm2115</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 3:31pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 2:34am<b>TwitchingNebula</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 5:28pm<b>Manicpanic13</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 7:32pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 4:32pm<b>JustAGirlOnFML</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 8:23pm

sarbear11753's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of sarbear11753's badges

sarbear11753's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49031) - you deserved it (6454)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

#20999827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46587) - you deserved it (4061)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53415) - you deserved it (7946)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33747) - you deserved it (5267)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54889) - you deserved it (7215)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, my boyfriend gave me his theory on how the world would be a better place if Hitler had won the 2nd World War. FML

#20995909
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40899) - you deserved it (5995)

On 12/17/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Well this Is Awkward (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53773) - you deserved it (3384)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

#20986609
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43989) - you deserved it (7094)

On 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54749) - you deserved it (3067)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46653) - you deserved it (5139)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

#20980652
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42364) - you deserved it (10991)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56501) - you deserved it (4150)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40808) - you deserved it (41410)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: