sarbear11753

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Offline (the 09/19/2015 at 8:58am)

sarbear11753

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7490
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sarbear11753's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:24pm<b>PieReaper</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 5:52pm<b>twilight_lupus</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:12am<b>persianninja</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 5:23pm<b>GrantEvans</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 3:49pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 11:18am<b>colerean</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:10pm<b>2_Fn_funny</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:44am<b>CorpsmanUp88</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 9:26pm<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 7:08pm<b>tommyfox</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 3:29pm<b>rm2115</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 3:31pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 2:34am<b>TwitchingNebula</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 5:28pm<b>Manicpanic13</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 7:32pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 4:32pm<b>JustAGirlOnFML</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 8:23pm

sarbear11753's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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sarbear11753's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

by t.hughes / 04/01/2013 at 10:50am / United States / Love

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

by dumb tourists / 03/31/2013 at 2:19am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Work

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

by InfamousLastWord / 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

by apparentlytoougly / 03/27/2013 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I casually mentioned to my mom that my boyfriend of two years and I were thinking about moving in together. She looked me dead in the eye and said if I ever moved out, she'd throw me out of the house. I'm confused. FML

by Imafishyfishy / 03/27/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

by first time at McDonald's in months... / 03/27/2013 at 1:04am / United States / Health

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

by Soph / 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

by f-ugly / 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm / United States / Love

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals