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sarbear11753

Offline (the 10/16/2014 at 10:49am) | Search for a member

sarbear11753

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2929
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sarbear11753's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:24pm<b>PieReaper</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 5:52pm<b>twilight_lupus</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:12am<b>persianninja</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 5:23pm<b>GrantEvans</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 3:49pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 11:18am<b>colerean</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:10pm<b>2_Fn_funny</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:44am<b>CorpsmanUp88</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 9:26pm<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 7:08pm<b>tommyfox</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 3:29pm<b>rm2115</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 3:31pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 2:34am<b>TwitchingNebula</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 5:28pm<b>Manicpanic13</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 7:32pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 4:32pm<b>JustAGirlOnFML</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 8:23pm

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sarbear11753's favorite FMLs

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49226) - you deserved it (11054)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML

#20647629
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45169) - you deserved it (3612)

On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

#20646351
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30843) - you deserved it (39769)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45568) - you deserved it (6104)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50090) - you deserved it (7075)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67217) - you deserved it (9916)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62904) - you deserved it (13805)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

#20636996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60766) - you deserved it (7098)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm - love - by Jes_jes18 (woman) - United States

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34774) - you deserved it (16131)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58262) - you deserved it (4193)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (41704)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML

#20628087
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53197) - you deserved it (6553)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:44pm - money - by a tad whipped (man) - Australia

Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML

#20620574
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52886) - you deserved it (14163)

On 04/25/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37782) - you deserved it (5108)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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