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sarbear11753

Offline (the 06/25/2015 at 10:33pm) | Search for a member

sarbear11753

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4389
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sarbear11753's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 10:24pm<b>PieReaper</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 5:52pm<b>twilight_lupus</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:12am<b>persianninja</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 5:23pm<b>GrantEvans</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 3:49pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 11:18am<b>colerean</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:10pm<b>2_Fn_funny</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:44am<b>CorpsmanUp88</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 9:26pm<b>that_band_nerd</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 7:08pm<b>tommyfox</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 3:29pm<b>rm2115</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 3:31pm<b>gmc_blossom</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 2:34am<b>TwitchingNebula</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 5:28pm<b>Manicpanic13</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 7:32pm<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 4:32pm<b>JustAGirlOnFML</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 8:23pm

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sarbear11753's favorite FMLs

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML

#21076929
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41673) - you deserved it (4489)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41992) - you deserved it (9605)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44164) - you deserved it (5610)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (6302)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46288) - you deserved it (5917)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46629) - you deserved it (6577)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

#21058081
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47721) - you deserved it (4141)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

#21056743
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45531) - you deserved it (9483)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm - animals - by alii2349 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (6347)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52443) - you deserved it (10343)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43260) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

#21033383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58613) - you deserved it (9419)

On 01/19/2014 at 10:59pm - intimacy - by Goodyear (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46122) - you deserved it (5203)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML



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