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Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17203) - you deserved it (1470)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15815) - you deserved it (1859)
On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States
Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17496) - you deserved it (2267)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27097) - you deserved it (2329)
On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31489) - you deserved it (2491)
On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States
Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31489) - you deserved it (2491)
On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States
Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (2615)
On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32993) - you deserved it (2419)
On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States
Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29557) - you deserved it (2607)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML
I agree, your life sucks (34912) - you deserved it (2151)
On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)
Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21850) - you deserved it (31962)
On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33640) - you deserved it (2062)
On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39538) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41158) - you deserved it (5711)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32341) - you deserved it (6724)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Monday 20 May 2013
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