sarahlovesyewxD

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sarahlovesyewxD

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 27 September 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 402
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sarahlovesyewxD : Um... Well I love all kinds of music. I play the mellophone in marching band (it's the marching band version of a french horn. It looks like a trumpet except fatter). I'm learning how to play the guitar. I love almost every light color. I have 14 candles on my cake. So yeah, thats me :D.

sarahlovesyewxD's page activity

Visits<b>forgotDre</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:11pm<b>NoOneLikeAtAll</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:35am<b>Chente_313</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 10:45pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:53am<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 12:56am<b>dancer_15234</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 2:57am<b>Championing</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 2:04am<b>xauuxa</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:05am<b>a33324332</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 12:33pm<b>Lintu_26</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 4:09pm<b>perdix</b> - the 09/19/2011 at 8:52am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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sarahlovesyewxD's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

by kalikanna / 07/07/2012 at 2:10am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

by magicman / 07/04/2012 at 5:04am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm / Intimacy

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

by ilovemymomma / 05/26/2012 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

by ...... / 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Health

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Love

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2012 at 3:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML

by no one / 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML

by poop / 02/28/2012 at 2:10am / United States / Transportation

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML

by facepalm / 02/27/2012 at 6:06am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

by pmony / 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous