About sarahlovesyewxD : Um... Well I love all kinds of music. I play the mellophone in marching band (it's the marching band version of a french horn. It looks like a trumpet except fatter). I'm learning how to play the guitar. I love almost every light color. I have 14 candles on my cake. So yeah, thats me :D.
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Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27416) - you deserved it (2082)
On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23764) - you deserved it (2625)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8696) - you deserved it (3660)
On 07/04/2012 at 5:04am - health - by magicman - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24737) - you deserved it (3440)
Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14037) - you deserved it (29665)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (6298)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11021) - you deserved it (19364)
On 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm - health - by ...... (man) - United States
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4325) - you deserved it (17951)
On 05/16/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16081) - you deserved it (1612)
On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I felt manly. I spent almost the entire day peeling paint, power sanding, and applying Spackle for my grandma. Strutting with masculinity, I headed for the shower, only to let out a womanly yelp at a spider hanging at eye level around a corner. Manliness gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8377) - you deserved it (12368)
On 03/29/2012 at 9:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my house caught on fire. The firefighters said that it was caused by a lit cigarette on the carpet. I don't smoke, but apparently my 13 year old son does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24981) - you deserved it (2354)
On 03/29/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by no one - United States (Texas)
Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31949) - you deserved it (1769)
On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mother surprised me with a new alarm clock. It's attached to a toy car which races around my room with obnoxious sirens going at full blast until I crawl out of bed and turn it off. She says this will be a regular thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14480) - you deserved it (8476)
On 02/28/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by poop - United States
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to stop measuring his penis during our conversation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (2665)
On 02/27/2012 at 6:06am - intimacy - by facepalm (woman) - United States
Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15964) - you deserved it (1731)
Monday 20 May 2013
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