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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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sarahface555

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sarahface555
  • Town/Country : Golden, Colorado
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 4 May 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 781
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sarahface555 : Add me on myspace. www.myspace.com/55393386

You can get to know me there. (:

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sarahface555's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (41370) - you deserved it (3517)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

#3107443 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (49736) - you deserved it (1779)

On 06/22/2009 at 12:11am - kids - by Al (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

#2933331 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (41950) - you deserved it (3333)

On 06/16/2009 at 3:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why he said. "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied". FML

#2876647 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (65816) - you deserved it (2678)

On 06/14/2009 at 1:42am - kids - by andthatshowitgoes (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

#2780499 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (59636) - you deserved it (3346)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85950) - you deserved it (50907)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

#2767405 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (49044) - you deserved it (4391)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:12am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "And she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

#2674765 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (39603) - you deserved it (2038)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:25pm - kids - by Shelly (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

#2524012 (341)

I agree, your life sucks (36492) - you deserved it (15887)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:18am - kids - by failbaby (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

#2158640 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (48854) - you deserved it (2459)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (929)

I agree, your life sucks (419980) - you deserved it (30697)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)