sarah8909

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sarah8909

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 35485
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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sarah8909's page activity

Visits<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 2:20am<b>CreatingReality</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 3:41am<b>AnonymousKrew</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 12:23am<b>xDochx</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:32pm<b>slytherbitch</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 3:03am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:19pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 04/01/2011 at 6:39pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:29am<b>DrDoofenshmirtz</b> - the 11/12/2010 at 11:10pm<b>shortpants</b> - the 07/05/2009 at 10:44am<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 11:38pm<b>nafur15</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 10:38pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 7:22pm<b>ThisGuy13</b> - the 05/20/2009 at 3:30am<b>username666</b> - the 05/19/2009 at 5:15pm<b>zombieman000</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 8:02pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/17/2009 at 3:50am<b>crazy12</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 11:25pm

Fucked!<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 8:20am

sarah8909's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

sarah8909's favorite FMLs

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

by bobuhbeartoe / 08/24/2009 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

by Buggga / 08/22/2009 at 5:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML

by ostfae / 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML

by callerid / 08/03/2009 at 7:45am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

by fmjob / 07/21/2009 at 12:39am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

by Best-stuf-on-Earth / 07/12/2009 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML

by nameless / 07/12/2009 at 2:45am / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

by robinhoood / 07/12/2009 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

by notinflammable / 06/27/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

by Jeweler / 06/26/2009 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML

by Tygastyle / 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML

by Stung / 06/19/2009 at 12:32am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML

by Ann / 06/18/2009 at 3:40pm / United States (Nevada) / Love