This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22931) - you deserved it (13509)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29115) - you deserved it (8175)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29983) - you deserved it (1275)
On 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by ostfae (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42829) - you deserved it (2908)
On 08/03/2009 at 7:45am - misc - by callerid (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (71541) - you deserved it (4219)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7608) - you deserved it (55947)
On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42063) - you deserved it (9492)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:45am - love - by nameless (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61034) - you deserved it (9517)
On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9587) - you deserved it (40121)
On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6219) - you deserved it (87397)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59015) - you deserved it (30959)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6460) - you deserved it (42877)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46029) - you deserved it (9819)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35429) - you deserved it (4871)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by Stung (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (3752)
On 06/18/2009 at 3:40pm - love - by Ann (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
