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Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15167) - you totally deserved it (2752)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22137) - you totally deserved it (2014)
On 03/10/2010 at 1:42pm - misc - by Nancy - United States
Today, I accidently downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10699) - you totally deserved it (3036)
On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by smarie09 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15488) - you totally deserved it (1253)
On 02/16/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by Timv86 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16425) - you totally deserved it (1025)
On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you totally deserved it (2615)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5751) - you totally deserved it (19206)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25115) - you totally deserved it (1037)
On 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Allie (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4196) - you totally deserved it (18313)
On 10/14/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35187) - you totally deserved it (2093)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13347) - you totally deserved it (47935)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you totally deserved it (6661)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:32pm - work - by stillwaiting (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40263) - you totally deserved it (9048)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14443) - you totally deserved it (17666)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18323) - you totally deserved it (10978)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)
