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Today, I got a text from my boyfriend that said, "Last week was the most embarassing time of my life, we're over." He was of course referring to the seizure that I had due to my epilepsy at Olive Garden. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you totally deserved it (987)
On 10/29/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Allie (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4003) - you totally deserved it (17671)
On 10/14/2009 at 4:19pm - love - by LasagnaRawks (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33994) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12895) - you totally deserved it (46874)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28992) - you totally deserved it (6555)
On 09/15/2009 at 5:32pm - work - by stillwaiting (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38525) - you totally deserved it (8701)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14175) - you totally deserved it (17377)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18025) - you totally deserved it (10777)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23499) - you totally deserved it (6563)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you totally deserved it (829)
On 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by ostfae (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34197) - you totally deserved it (1723)
On 08/03/2009 at 7:45am - misc - by callerid (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58628) - you totally deserved it (3239)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5681) - you totally deserved it (45724)
On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35400) - you totally deserved it (6773)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:45am - love - by nameless (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51251) - you totally deserved it (7665)
On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)
